She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
