On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
