I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
