if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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