i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I love you.
Bad choice
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
