Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
