Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
