my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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