her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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