My cat gives me a boner
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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