I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
