I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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