508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
