I'm so fucking centered right now
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
