I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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