This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
