they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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