I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
