Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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