look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
