if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
