I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
