I got chris browned last night
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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