i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
