Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
