So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
