You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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