I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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