do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
