I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
