That's intense
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
