I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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