Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
