My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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