Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
