Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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