I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
