You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
