Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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