How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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