I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
