I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They have beer where we have blood.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
