First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
