So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
