we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
