i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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