Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
