So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
