it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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