u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
