The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
