I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
