Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize