so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
