Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
