Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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