I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
