love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
