I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
